Eventually I stopped being bitter and me and my ex became friends again. We would talk everyonce in a while and everything was nice. But then a year ago she got mixed up in a bad relationship, and she ended up breaking contact with everyone she knew.
Which brings us to now. She finally got herself out of the abusive relationship and is in the process of reconnecting with all of her friends that she didn't speak to during that time.
She and I have started talking again also. I've figured out that I still have feelings for her, and that I always have. I know, that I can't just jump in, and that she needs time to heal. But how do I start laying the ground work, and also find out if she would even want to get back together?How should I go about getting my ex back?
When someone is in the recovery stage of a relationship of any kind (even family), I personally experienced a serious degree of distrust to just about everyone... particularly the other sex if it is any sort of abuse from a relationship that is the wound to heel.
As a result she is in a void and it would be pretty possible to benefit from this void and fill in the gap of being ';a person in her life';... or as you prefer to have it said: ';Get her back';
But here is the tricky bit... it really doesn't go far, brings more problems in many dimensions to both sides, mostly to you.
My personal advice would be for you to try to fill that void in with simply being someone that honestly cares for her and is not hiding anything... as she most possibly needs it a lot. As this relationship evolves and you guys get to spend some time together, eventually moments shall come up where she may remember some good times you had together, or moments that you would feel it to be just right to again honestly tell her about your feelings.
Unfortunately the one thing you can't do is take the first step until she does... tell her how you feel and invite her (there is a significant difference between inviting and asking. Declare the difference in your words)鈥?BUT do it with an open palm where she is completely free with choice.
Last of all.... I do not know why you guys split up in the first place. But if it was something bad and especially your fault; I would strongly advise that you concentrate on not repeating it and presenting to her a reason to believe that you have changed to a more agreeable level.
I wish you the best of luck. I hope it all goes better in this try.How should I go about getting my ex back?
I think you should just be honest and tell her. You don't want to push her too much.
Take it slow, for both of your sakes. I'm sure she still has feelings for you too. Hang out together, talk on the phone, etc. Let things unfold naturally, don't push or rush it, it'll happen. Follow her lead too. If she's warm and appreciative with your advances, then continue. However, if you feel her withdrawing or becoming more distant, then give her some room, don't be too pushy or she may feel like you've never changed! Good Luck!
she will destroy all you have left inside...dont do it...shes a succubus
Do whatever u feel is right.
Please answer my question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
sry i kno that some people hate it when u post this.
Try to ask her if you want to get back together!
This is tough because you already may be just a friend to her and always will be. If you were smitten for her in the beginning and she broke up with you, I don't have a lot of confidence in her that she will suddenly reciprocate the same feelings you've had (always seemed to have) for her. I'm hearing that it seems you've always been there for her, which is really admirable and she may look at you as the guy she can always depend on to be there for her. Just do that, but don't stop dating in the meantime. You don't want to get clingy again and lose her.
Don't do anything to get her back.
Do everything to be the man she wants to be with. Show her by your actions, and not your words, that you are a man who she can trust with her heart and soul.
Be patient. Be kind. Be a gentleman. Do not take advantage of her emotionally or sexually.
It will probably take a while, and you may not get back together. Just make sure that you don't compromise your integrity to win her AND make sure that she'll never have any regrets about your relationship, whatever the status it may become.
I didn't even have to read ur ?
The answer is forget her and move on.
yes.Shes on the rebound...remember?
If you truly love her just understand that she is going through a tough time right now and that your timing is off. Be there for her and listen to her feelings. I can ussure you that she will appreciate this more than you know. Let things happen naturally, if you love her she will feel it through your actions.
When you feel that the right time has come tell her you love her and dont pressure her or guilt trip her.
Good Luck!
Get a life, loser.
Be confident! Tell her how you feel. Tell her you've made a mistake letting her go. Tell her you love her.
Be there for her, and not b/c you want to get back together, but just to be a friend she can lean on. Don't be too clingy. Remember, she is on the rebound so if she tries to make a move too soon, let her know that it is not the right time. Wait until she is completely over her relationship and completely healed to tell her how you feel for her. Just remember to be a great friend in the meantime (go out to lunch, coffee, etc, but not ';dates'; like dinner)
Be her friend.
show her that no matter what you'll always love her for her. don't explain the whole love thing she'll figure it out on her own weather its in a Friend way or love love way. just be a good Friend to her and she''ll appreciate your loyal friendship and who knows it just might come with benefits soon.
obviously shes just gotten out of a bad relationship w/ somone so i would advise not to make a move for a while, be nice to her do kind stuff to her all that stuff and then after a while you should gradualy make a move to get back together w/ her. but dont be to fast, she may not want to hang out with you if you move to fast.
Good Luck
Forget about your ex, just move on..
You should talk to her. Tell her the things that her Old boyfriend didn't. Give her compliments and tell her it wasn' t her fault. Basically become one of her ';girlsfriends'; to show you care about her. Then when she says she wants to start dating again then tell her how you feel,slowly. Then ask her if she thinks you guys can start over again. If she says yes make it different than before. Show her that you can be a real man and love her and protect her. Then you're golden.
Dont it never works out trust me it will just end up being an akward subject
always move and tap something else. it sounds like your too young to settle down, you'll never get this time back, you need to hit some hoodrats.
1. Be there. - like you said not clingy, but making sure she's o.k. even if she doesn't know you're checking.
2. When she needs something (groceries, car fixed, ect.) do it.- with out a word. It's not a big deal it's just what you do.
3. Be extra compassionate - she got out of an abusive relationship so she needs you to be extra gentle.
4. Listen - don't talk just listen. She'll want to talk, and even when she stops wait because she'll start again.
5. Figure out what she likes and give it to her for no reason. - again no big deal you were just thinking of her and got it then move on.
As a friend, be there for her unconditionally. When she is ready she will see and feel her heart. Things will fall into place. Give her time, but if you guys ever talk about feelings.. share your feelings with her.. so she knows where you stand. Because who knows... she might be asking herself the same question.
Right now just be a good friend. Coming out of an abusive relationship is hard and confusing in itself, just be a good listener and friend. If it's meant to be it'll be.
Of course, its possible that you may get together, but not likely--she sounds like she doent know what she wants.
You need to remember why you broke apart--there were reasons and those reasons are still there--I would not jump in--just to heal all over again. You can try, but chances are, you will be dissappointed again.
I've always said that ex's can't remain friends because one always still has feelings. They are called ';ex's'; for a reason.
She needs you for the comfort and friendship. She wants healthy realtionships back in her life and you are one of them. But healthy doesn't always mean you're on the same page.
I wouldn't expect to get back together. If you have the expectations that you won't, then you'll be better off. By hanging on and having that ';glimmer of hope'; that you'll get back together can be torturous for you.
Be careful and don't expect much.
Ask her out for a casual dinner. If it goes well, ask her out again. If she's agreeable, do it again...
It is not necessary to define the parameters of a relationship that doesn't exist yet (or anymore). Just go out and see how the relationship develops. Or redevelops.
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